Self esteem and dating for teens play chess endgames online dating
First, outline what you believe the behavior in your home should be — your “beliefs.” Then, determine what rules are needed to support those beliefs.You can develop behavioral beliefs and rules for any number of things, but I prefer to major on the majors, not the minors, so focus on areas such as modesty, honesty, respect, family contribution, curfew, use of the car, dating, substance abuse, church activities, abiding by the law, and education.They chose in advance to accept the consequences since they also knew in advance what consequences they would have to face.It works well to graph out what you want in spreadsheet form, so that each belief has a rule and each rule has consequences that can be clearly seen. Consequence – 1st Violation: Curfew will be an hour earlier for one week.Boundaries aren’t handcuffs; they free teenagers to make decisions since they know how far they can go.For instance, I’ve always thought that a teen wearing one fashion or another should be their own choice.The kids I’ve met with the lowest self-esteem and the least self-control are those who either have never experienced boundaries or whose parents use punishment as the only means of communicating boundaries.Such parents tend to shift their punishment (and the boundaries) based on how their own day is going or how frustrated they are with life, their spouse, or their children.
Those qualifications for the use of the car are boundaries.
How and where the teen drives within those boundaries is up to them, as long as they follow other imposed boundaries, such as traffic laws.
We all have boundaries in our lives, so teens need to get accustomed to them.
It is your duty to enforce consequences without wavering, but it is also important to express your sadness when your teen experiences consequences. And they’ll help you maintain discipline without destroying your relationship.
Help them know you are on their side and rooting for them.